FANTASTIC FOUR 567

RHYTHMIC COMIC SELF INFLATES FRIEND'S LIFE-RAFT

So just how is Mr. Fantastic going to save the earth from global warming? Word on the street is that in fifty years half the world's plant and animal species will be wiped out by rising sea level. Believe it? Still going to buy that house on that low lying land? I'm not. I'll be looking to the hills when I empty my penny jar to see if I managed to collect 100,000 bucks for a Providence house. I have multiple jars of pennies. and I grew up in the 80's. I was not allowed to watch the apocalyptical-nuclear-war-made-for-TV movie "The Day after Tomorrow" due to parental fear of nightmare inducing melting face scenes. But I can see the future and know that humanity is fucked. My decisions are and have been influenced by impending doom. If its not nuclear war, though it still could be spawned by a ridiculous yet serious standoff between a few ancient and corrupted religions, its the terrorist dirty bomb at the mall. Ten thousand planes downed into the power plants of all the major economies. Twelve million shoe bombs explode in the sky on a well timed sky diver assault raining down a poisoned liquid LSD causing last minute hallucinogenic journeys before, yes, our faces melt off. Or it could be plain old simple global warming. Because we just can't stop making sneakers, sodas, bloggy computers or driving our kids to soccer camp. I used my cell phone to call and complain about my headache from all the crisscrossing signals flashing through my brain. Mass cancer kills cancerous humanity. How many will escape using a succession of cloned bodies mounted into small spacecraft built by disgruntled ex-Nasa and Nazi scientists. Few. A pile of politicians, hip hop stars and champion tennis players. Fated to have an oxygen depleting argument on mars debating who will dig the compost pit for the outhouse.

Which brings us back to The Fantastic Four. Has Mr. Fantastic solved this yet? I am not an FF fan. i read a select few of the awesome Kirby issues. A bunch of the super cool Byrne issues. A few here and there say if Art Adams was drawing one or suddenly the whole team was replaced by new less boring members. And then i read the Millar/Hitch run. I am into Bryan Hitch on this title. Sure some of the seriously fun ideas presented in the run such as Nu-Earth, The Hooded Man and the new Defenders, Marquis Of Death and Doctor Doom's death's-door feverdream were probably Millars receipes. But Hitch brought it to life. Tracing photos, getting his sister and his uncle to hold a pose all day, i don't know. His page layouts are exhilarating. This one is almost seasickening......but its readable.

But then you have this. A where's Waldo moment. Guys, I know you are rushed to the point where both Millar and Hitch, despite claims that they wanted to make theirs as great as Byrnes run, ditched out on the title before it was even done amounting to a painful downward spiral of quality in issues 568 and 569, but please. for the issues you do work on, please please hit the "trace photograph in ink" button or whatever before you go to press.....

Pretty pathetic. lets end on a good note. I love the library and this one looks awesome!

Most FF fans would call me an FF tourist. I am sticking with it for the Hickman/Eaglesham run so far and two issues in its great. "Mr. Fantastic solves everything". Will I find hope in this comic book to guide me through my current range of personal issues? I need to dig through my closet for an extra Infinity Gauntlet. Didn't these foolish multi-Reeds read Cosmic Odyssey? Only evil will come from that glove.

It doesn't take a Future seeing Bridge device to know that doom is at hand, and not Doctor Doom. Generation Degeneration knows. Thats us. born after 1973. I'll be the cutoff year. No, Born after july 22, 1972. The day Bruce Lee died is the day the earth changed course(exactly one year to the day before my birthday). Hmm. Maybe born 1969. That seems like great year to have appeared in. Doom. Mat Brinkman knows it. Is there anyone out there who has not read his Multi Force? Really? Best re-released comic of 2009. PictureboX books. Essential. No bias here.

Somebody needs to bang on Brinkmans door with one of those $20000 dollar Pantheon book deals and he'll cave and draw comics. Anyway, the whole point of bringing this up is that i don't think the current FF are dealing with the real problems at hand. Its time for some new recruits in that good old Marvel Fashion. We need to up some sales.

PRESENTING THE ALL NEW, ALL DIFFERENT 2009 FF........

INVISIBLE WOMAN

Frank Santoro.

Many of you know him as the "Wise Elder" dude on Comics-Comics who talks a lot about "The Golden Triangle" or "The Golden Shower" or some ancient design tactic. But us close to him know him as "the dude who spends every waking moment thinking about color separations while standing knee deep in the rising waters of his flooded basement". Cold Heat is a trip. These are pages from issue 5/6. 7/8 is out but not in..... my house.

MISTER FANTASTIC

Jungil Hong.

A fellow smallest state artist, she is on display at Mountainfold gallery in NYC for her solo show "Growl Fowl". I implore you my faithful readers to take a spin over to the 18th floor of 55 5th avenue before it closes on October 16th. You need to see the depth of texture that marks her work. Detail only a cricket can see. Definitely part of the "Scrunched Figure" movement out of Rhode Island. There is nothing self serving in my message. My only endorsement and paycheck is from Marvel Comics(which i need with the utmost haste to pay for all the giant sized $4.99 copies of Old Man Logan i will buy to give to my relatives at Christmas). oh, more Hong HERE and THERE. and.....

THE THING
Richard Corben. Starr the Slayer, the new Marvel Max mini based on a one off story in 1970's Chamber of Darkness issue 4 by Roy Thomas and Barry Windsor Smith. This new take is written by Daniel Way. I was bored silly by Ways year and half Ghost Rider run, slightly interested in his ongoing Wolverine Origins book, but totally psyched on Starr the Slayer. Somehow Way and Corben mindmeld on this one.

if you push on the pages goo comes out. Corben the magic man.

THE HUMAN TORCH
Rashied Ali. Drummer.

Ali plays on one of my all time favorite records. "John Coltrane, Interstellar Space". A drum, saxaphone duet. Here is one of those weird Youtube clips where they show an album cover and have music. I didn't understand why people do this till now.

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but lets get a little live weirdness in there too......

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So as Rorshach claims is the end nigh? Obama may be able to talk down a giant meteor on a collision course for us or an alien invasion fronted by a green goliath on a stone ship. Or regular humans may be able to think/act for themselves and make an escape balloon-pod out of supermarket plastic bags and discarded cell phone chargers. There may be hope. But today its all about Rashied Ali. If he hadn't jumped ship i would feel better about everything. RIP Rashied.

PS. If I were you i would press play on both YouTube videos and adjust the volume accordingly. Then smush your face into the screen and stare at Franks closing pattern....